What an Honest Online Dating Profile Would Look Like

Google tips for writing an online dating profile and you'll average 18,000,000 results. By following these experts advice, you will most likely see an increase in hits and possibly messages. Most of these articles would advise you to blur the lines between truth and reality. Now, I'm not a fan of fabrication myself, but I do enjoy presenting an honest image as eloquently as possible. However, this post is not about that. This is what my online dating profile would look like if I were 100% brutally honest.

An Ode to Love Part 2

The second half of this list is from a far more turbulent time in my life. A time filled with highs and lows, a one night stand and red vines.

An Ode to Love

I've finally reached the point where I can no longer count the number of partners I've had on my hands. Five months ago, I never would have thought that would be possible. But here we are. And here's what I remember of them:

The Almost Stalker Part 2

In the late AM hours on Christmas day, who's number graces my screen? My Almost Stalker. Who leaves a message stating that calling me had been a mistake, but since he did he might as well wish me a very Merry Christmas. I think I may have given myself a headache from the face palm that followed. I didn't reciprocate his holiday wishes, nor did I hear from him again until I contacted him again to confirm our date. (Yes, I was carrying on. Mostly for you, dear readers.) We confirmed a time, but an actual plan for the evening was up in the air. Monday drew to an end and I reached out to AS to figure out where we would meet and what shenanigans we would have.

The Almost Stalker

Online dating has only served to remind me that this world is filled with all sorts of people. Intense people. Complacent people. Over-sexed people. Depressive people. Obsessive people. At this point in my dating career, I feel I can safely say that I can carry on a conversation with damn near anyone. Yay life skills! But just when I think I've got a handle on all the different kinds of crazies I'll meet, the universe decides to show me up.

Banging The Giant Mechanical Man*

Personally, I'm always a fan of using life's experiences to improve certain facets of myself. For instance, I have a maddening habit of not listening to my instincts. Instead, I prefer to slowly, painstakingly analyze a situation or person before coming to a conclusion. It's a method I've used to protect myself from the risks associated with rash decisions. However, this past month of dating a socially awkward giant of a man has recently opened my eyes to the merits of gut reactions.

Size Matters?

PS
I love big girls
And you'de love me

Honestly buddy, I'd love you more if you could spell.