An Ode to Love

I've finally reached the point where I can no longer count the number of partners I've had on my hands. Five months ago, I never would have thought that would be possible. But here we are. And here's what I remember of them:



[ONE] J - You were my first everything. Boyfriend. Love. Sex. We laughed near constantly. We tried things just because we could. Sex with you was like checking off a list. I used to think you were one of the best. Then I booty called you in between relationships and you barely, just barely, scratched my itch. You also changed my life forever. Eleven years later, a piece of you is still with me. We were young, brash and on top of the world. I broke you.

[TWO] K - You were older, knowledgeable, and had a chip on your shoulder the size of the Hindenburg. I was smitten. You were controlling. And I let you control me in the worst ways. The sex was... odd. But the distance always amped everything up. You always made me feel dirty and disgusting. Hell, you still do. We had sex in a hotel bed while your friend's girlfriend was sleeping next to us. I ended it because someone had to. I broke myself.

[THREE] K - You were my first 'successful' online date. It was a whirlwind romance built on loneliness and desperation. You were the third one without a real job. I think I took your virginity. The sex we had was terrible. You never got off and I always took it personally. We became asexual and fell out of love. We still don't talk to this day. But I see you on Facebook and you're happy with another girl. And that makes me happy. You weren't a bad person.

[FOUR] S - You were a goal. A check mark on my bucket list. You were odd and clingy and had a ridiculous cock. (10? 11?) But we had a fun three days in paradise. I broke the myth: Once you go black, you don't always go back.

[FIVE] - I still don't like writing or saying your name. I've started to refer to you as Asshole. You were enchanting. There's no other way to describe it. I think it might have been love at first sight. If only for just one of us. The sex was intense. Nothing out of the ordinary. Very little kink. But there was a connection. I know you felt it too, for a time. I wanted it to last forever. You didn't. Because you were scared. Because you didn't love me. Because you felt you couldn't provide. I don't know. You're no longer the best I've ever had. But I'm afraid of you. Of what I'll continue to feel or not feel because of you. I don't want anything to do with you, but I still keep tabs on you. You always hated the cats. I should have known.

[SIX] E - You were the poor soul who became my rebound. You were kind and earnest. And I did take your virginity. You've given me a new rule for my book.

No More Virgins

You had potential. But I was in no mood to coddle you. I went on four dates with you. Then I faded out. I'm sorry. But at least you know the definition of foreplay now. 

To be continued...