The Almost Stalker

Online dating has only served to remind me that this world is filled with all sorts of people. Intense people. Complacent people. Over-sexed people. Depressive people. Obsessive people. At this point in my dating career, I feel I can safely say that I can carry on a conversation with damn near anyone. Yay life skills! But just when I think I've got a handle on all the different kinds of crazies I'll meet, the universe decides to show me up.

Communication began innocuously enough.

Hey, you seem nice. I would love to chat sometime.

Hey, how's your week going?

Really good actually. I'm XXXXX. Where do I begin? First, I enjoyed reading your profile. I long to go back to school to finish my B.A. I also really really ...really love food. And I boarder line praise that beautiful woman. Second, I'm a pseudo - myself that likes questionably good music. To be honest I'm not one of the crowd to agree with everything you like to hook up. That's deceitful. I rather find out our differences through time , lol. But I want to say this; you are an attractive woman that has a silly side. Want to chat, I would love to hear your interests.

Shortly afterwards we exchanged numbers and I was treated to a real, live phone call. As most of you are aware, this type of communication is quite rare and coveted. Our first call lasted over an hour, another amazing feat, which was followed up with a complimentary text the next morning and a .... selfie?

I overlooked the odd inclusion and continued to carry on conversing with him over the course of a week. A week with an increasing number of texts, phone calls, and yet more selfies. By the end of the week he was calling everyday, for at least an hour. Once I even received two calls in one day. He told me his life story one day. The next, he informed me that his pet peeve was one someone talks extensively about their ex. And then proceeded to detail out his entire last relationship. One day his car caught on fire..

We had set up a date for the following Monday. I was looking forward to meeting this over exuberant young man, but it was the holidays. I had work deadlines, school deadlines, social engagements and my own sanity to preserve. Christmas Eve I received not one, two, or three, but FOUR phone calls. Unsurprisingly, I finally snapped and answered the fourth call.

As politely as I could muster, I informed him that there is not a single person on this earth that I desire to speak to every day. I explained that the majority of my formative years were spent alone. That I'm self sufficient and don't feel a need to share every minute detail of my life. To his credit, he did apologize and stated he would wait until I was ready to contact him. A sense of relief washed over me as I tucked myself in for that mystical night, sure that all was right with my dating life.

To be continued...


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