A Three Year Long Distance Love Affair

Long distance relationships can be either incredibly rewarding or draining. The extra effort you find yourself putting into making time for phone calls, letters, texts is sometimes more than most people can handle. I know this first hand and after a two year long relationship with a west coast guy, I came to the realization that I wasn't cut out for this. And I promised myself that I would never even entertain the thought of another.

But then there was Carlos.*

It started out innocently enough back in the summer of 2010. I was foot loose and fancy free, looking for love in all the wrong corners of the internet. I had a strong set of morals and pretty low self esteem. I should have known that Carlos and I would never work out. 

 And thus began an on again, off again internet courtship. 

Eventually, I had to end it with him due to finding what I thought was my unicorn. But these magical creature's characteristics tend to fade with time. Usually revealing the far less rare douche canoe in it's place. This of course, prompted my return to the internets and the world of the undersexed, old pervs, and socially awkward. And within two weeks, Carlos homed in on me like like a one winged moth to a giant bonfire. 

And this time he was playing for keeps. 

It is an odd sort of comfort knowing that no matter how many painfully boring first dates I'll endure during my singleness that I can always rely on Carlos to brighten my day with lewd auto corrects and dick picks galore.


*Names have been changed to protect the idiots.